Saturday, June 30, 2007

Broken Tooth, Nail File and Another Connection

A few days ago, while eating a piece of pork, my back tooth broke in half leaving jagged edges. Not being able to decide which would be worse, going to a Ukrainian dentist or having my tongue sliced into raw hamburger by the remaining part of my tooth, I went to look for my fingernail file. (I can highly recommend a nail file as an emergency dental tool.) Now when my tongue touches the smooth, empty space where my tooth used to be I think of Maria and the children we also have in common.

Undoubtedly the children were better off in an orphanage than they were being raised in the home of their biological parents. However it happened, and we may never know the exact details, it was for the best that Nikolai and Maria had their parental rights terminated. But I still feel for Maria. I can see that she really loved and wanted the children. She just couldn’t provide a healthy and/or safe environment for them.

Loosing your children would have to be the worst thing a mother can experience. I wonder, what if I had been born to a single mother in a poor rural village, had limited education, no resources or opportunity, married at 18, had my first child at 19 and the man I married turned out to be the kind that was violent to me when he drank. Would I have had the where-with-all to change my situation? It was easier for me to think “yes” before I met Maria and saw her life.

I am so lucky to have my parents, my husband and my community!

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